They say summer is ending so I’ve been thinking a lot about where I want to be this fall, and I’m reminded of how I’ve only ever been trying to get back to one place, the corner booth of a diner. Tucked away between an apothecary and a housing works, sits 148 Montague Avenue, a diner I foresee as my answer for everything this fall. I’ve been there exactly two times and both times I’ve slid into the crimson-red booths, I’ve been offered a number of realities. These booths depending on the day and the time of day serve as a vacation spot, a library, a workspace, a time machine, and an unofficial official office for the worst and best conversations my best friend and I have ever had.
I grew up in a small town in upstate New York where good places to eat were and still are hard to come by, so I learned early on how to be fed on the general vibe of a place. The comfort of a booth, the exact right amount of faint cigarette smoke, and the perfect ratio of hot water to coffee grounds. The vibes diners offer reflect the options of the menu, which if it’s a good diner should be close to endless.
Though the options should be near infinity, there is a universal truth about diners, which is that there are exactly 4 reliable staples on almost any diner menu. The following items are tried and true items that if messed with, should call for the immediate closing of a diner's doors. Grilled cheese, pancakes, cheeseburger, and french fries. A diner that can deliver quality outside of these dishes is immediately shot up to a 4-star diner because talent deserves recognition. Now, this is the part in this piece where I’m supposed to tell you in detail how much this new diner delivers, but I won’t because I don’t really want to drive you to go there. I’ve come to the delicate decision, that not everyone could handle the magic of Montague and I think it’s important to mention who could handle it with care and who could effortlessly bring the vibes to a crashing halt. I hope you’ll take my word for it.
People who belong at the diner with me
My best friend
Someone I’m sleeping with but not seeing
Lucila Ball
Grandmas (against racism)
Unsuspecting working guy in a suit
Fran Lebowitz
People who do not belong at the diner with me
Creative directors
Influencers
Rudy Guliani (I just have a bad feeling he would show up)
Men who live in Fidi who congregate religiously for sports games
The overly ambitious